In an island state of mind
It’s been a week since my last entry, and what an eventful week it has been. Travelling from the madness of Bangkok to Lipa Noi beach on the quiet west side of Koh Samui. Getting use to the muggy heat turning into stormy monsoons, being part of a close companionship of two moody individuals (Duncan and myself), attending an amazing beach wedding of a friend, drinking too much, and finally having to send Duncan off on a venture on his own to get the work I have committed myself to do done.
In this secluded side of this lovely island, my guitar has started to leave it’s case more, I have been playing in more public places trying not to think who is listening and focusing on my own joy of playing music. I have not really taken any action towards trying to perform or engage with the listeners, this is something that is bothering me, however I must remember to acknowledge all the small steps in my progress. Lots of small steps will eventually get me to my destination of becoming persistently confident in my craft. For example one of the rules that I have given myself is that if someone asks me to play I do it. Yesterday as I was putting away my guitar, a man was getting comfortable on a lounger next to me, as he went by he looked at the guitar and said half joking “play us a song”, my default response would have been to go into a shy giggle and escape, but this time, I unzipped my guitar and sang two songs, he clapped and I went away feeling good, instead of defeated. Little steps.
As a late blooming musician choosing to really go for something I love doing, I have many fears that I am gradually overcoming, doing something I’m afraid of doesn’t cure that fear, just like going for a jog once in a while will not make you fit, repeating and persisting at the tasks is the key to moving forwards, it’s so easy to get distracted and discouraged from doing something that makes you feel uncomfortable.
Same goes for my blog, I have been getting lots of feedback, some welcomed and supportive, and some not so much, the less supportive feedback seems to echo louder, and makes me think twice about continuing writing, but I’m not one to give up so easily, next up India in two days.
I must remember one of my goals, to inspire others to follow their dreams and see that some of their fears are just emotional obstacles which can be overcome by accepting and working through them.
If you didn't see/hear it yet here is Lift Off.